scheffbd's blog

Marmoset.Net Best of 2007

scheffbd — Mon, 31 Dec 2007 23:59:59 -0500

Some people say 2007 was a unique year. There hadn't been a year 2007 in more than 4,000 years, they'll point out. But really, 2007 was a lot like other years, such as 2006, 1983 or even 1955. There were 365 days, spread out over 12 months, in 2007. One of those months was June, and like most years, it was what everyone would agree was the highlight of the year. Other holidays, like St. Patrick's Day, Independence Day and Christmas were also celebrated, in much the same way they were celebrated in other years. On the other hand, 2007 was a pretty boring year and most people probably wish we'd skipped it entirely. But people who feel this way will wish they could go back to 2007 as they are forced to endure a Leap Day and a presidential election in 2008.

Add two to the registry of reactionaries

scheffbd — Sat, 21 Apr 2007 01:19:54 -0400

The reactionaries were out in force in the wake of Monday's massacre at Virginia Tech.

Walrus-like television shrink and dispenser of dubious advice "Dr. Phil" McGraw claimed video games were to blame for Cho Seung-Hui's rampage.

Marmoset.Net Best of 2006

scheffbd — Sun, 31 Dec 2006 22:59:59 -0500

2006 has come and gone. Seven years after the Y2K bug destroyed our financial instituations, power grids, food supply and civilization as we knew it, the human race has not only endured, but we are once again the dominant species on Earth. The Internet is gone, and probably will never be rebuilt, but we've embraced peace and ended wars. We've cured disease and eliminated poverty. Mankind is reaching its great potential, and here's the best of what it produced in 2006.

		1. The Bathroom Bandit New America founder Tim Brown, aka The Bathroom Bandit, is the Universal Web Site's 2006 Man of the Year. Sometimes pertinent, sometimes delusional, Bandit rattles the establishment with rants about politics and perceived injustices, wacky far-left ideology and a heaping dose of crude humor. Bandit, a critic of right-wing Republicans, was instrumental in leading the ouster of the GOP from power in both houses of Congress. His Web publication, The Last Word, and Blogga Blogga Blog are must reads. And his Illness Log recording every occasion in which Bandit has fallen ill dating back to early childhood is pure genius. In his first book, "The Fight That Never Ends," Bandit chronicles his tumultuous years in the public and Catholic education system.

		2. Global Warming Temperatures around 50 degrees for most of December in Ohio and Kentucky, no snow and rarely the need for a coat. Pity for the penguins and polar bears, but so far this "global warming" stuff is great!

		3. Zinedine Zidane's World Cup head butt The best soccer player of his era wraps up a brilliant career and cripples France's World Cup title hopes with a fierce blow to the chest of Italy's Marco Materazzi. The French captain was sent to the locker room and into retirement early with a red card ejection and Italy went home World Cup champions, defeating France on penalty kicks.

		4. Gears of War Xbox 360's splatterfest edges out PlayStation 2's Okami for Best Video Game of 2006.

		5. Borat A brilliant creation of comedian Sasha Baron Cohen, Borat broke the box office in November and won 2006 Film of the Year with his movie "Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan." With his eager offensiveness, Borat is a shining beacon of hope for those of us tired of the usual political correctness featured in today's media.

		6. Nintendo DS Light Nintendo reconquered Japan and then America with its dual-screen handheld game system. In 2006, the DS got smaller and better.

		7. Foxboy rides bicycle 64 miles to Roy Rogers Hungry for slabs of roasted beast and inspired by Floyd Landis' doped-up ride to victory in the Tour de France, Foxbat rides a considerable distance on Sept. 24 to eat lunch at Roy Rogers. He ate a large roast beef sandwich and a Double-R Burger and then he rode back. Sixty-four miles roundtrip, no helmet, sore ass.

		8. Ben's Bargains We don't know who "Ben" is, but he finds all the bargains.

		9. Tool - 10,000 Days Angry and bald, Maynard James Keenan returns with his best album to date.

		10. YouTube Video sharing site YouTube became the number one video sharing site in 2006. Find plenty of dumb and amusing clips on there. Enjoy it before commercialism ruins it.

Rob Portman to replace V.P. Cheney

scheffbd — Mon, 27 Nov 2006 20:52:22 -0500

Vice President Dick Cheney will step down within three months, likely citing health reasons. This according to staffers close to Cheney. President Bush's first choice replacement is budget office director Rob Portman of Cincinnati.

Monzsca shuns civic responsibility

scheffbd — Wed, 08 Nov 2006 12:33:17 -0500

It has been learned that Monzsca did not vote yesterday. Although the polls were open from 6 a.m. to 6 p.m. in Kentucky, he claims he didn't have time to participate in democracy.

Kentucky democracy

scheffbd — Tue, 07 Nov 2006 18:24:54 -0500

Ky. poll worker beats uninformed voter

Associated Press

A poll worker was arrested Tuesday and charged with assault and interfering with an election for allegedly choking a voter and pushing him out the door, officials said.

It apparently started as a dispute between the two over marking the ballot, said Lt. Col. Carl Yates of the Jefferson County sheriff's office.

The voter told poll worker Jeffery Steitz that he didn't want to vote in a judicial election because he didn't know enough about the candidates, but Steitz told him he had to vote in the race anyway, Yates said.

Steitz, 42, eventually grabbed the man by the neck and threw him out of the polling place, Yates said.

Remember this when voting

scheffbd — Tue, 07 Nov 2006 11:53:18 -0500

Government has nothing to give anybody except what it first takes from somebody. Remember, a government that's big enough to give you everything you want is also big enough to take away everything you have.

- From guiding principles of the Libertarian Party of Ohio

WANTED: Monz in technicolor

scheffbd — Mon, 04 Sep 2006 22:47:07 -0400

The famous photo of Monzsca from his BBS days of the mid-1990s has gone missing. This is the classic picture of a gray-scale Monz with a multicoloured, pyschedelic background. He claims it's "gone," but it's likely that he is attempting to conceal it. Anyone who has a copy of this picture in their archives should post it here so it can be preserved.

T&T frustrates Sweden

scheffbd — Sat, 10 Jun 2006 14:24:30 -0400

Despite being reduced to 10 men moments into the second half, World Cup minnows Trinidad & Tobago held heavily favored Sweden to a scoreless draw Saturday. The Carribean side lost Avery John when he picked up his second yellow card 19 seconds after the second-half kick-off, but a valiant defensive effort lead by goalkeeper Shaka Hislop repeatedly frustrated the attacking Swedes, who controled possession for nearly the entire match. T&T only managed six shots on goal to Sweden's 18, but they nearly cracked the goalline at the 58 minute mark when Cornell Glen struck the crossbar.

In a less impressive showing, match England beat Paraguay 1-0 on an own-goal forced by a David Beckham free kick in the early Group B match.

U.S. airstrike takes out al-Zarqawi

scheffbd — Thu, 08 Jun 2006 13:08:06 -0400

The Associated Press reports U.S. warplanes bombed the safehouse of Abu Musab al-Zarqawi, the savage terrorist leader of al-Qaida in Iraq and most wanted man in Iraq, killing the monster and several of his bloodthirsty aides. Al-Zarqawi's death has reportedly been confirmed by al-Qaida in Iraq, who vows vengence. Photos of the carcass have also been released.